Despite a somewhat successful first half of the season, the Pittsburgh Pirates are not necessarily one of the best teams in MLB.
It’s been this way for a long time, as Pirates fans hold on to some hope of contention. In fact, we’re talking about a team that has not made the playoffs since all the way back in 2015. They’ve won one playoff series since Barry Bonds was heading things in the Allegheny in 1992.
This has not stopped fans from flocking to PNC Park in Pittsburgh. It’s among the best venues that MLB has to offer. The scenery is just amazing.
Apparently, one Pirates homer decided to take his fandom to a new level late last week.
According to this report from a local CBS News affiliate, police arrested a man on Friday for stealing an 82-foot yacht on the Allegheny River in Pittsburgh.
“According to Pittsburgh Public Safety, just before 8 a.m., River Rescue responded to the report. According to court paperwork, Michael Fischer broke into the Lock Wall Marina off 23rd Street in the Strip District,” report on Pittsburgh Pirates fan being arrested.
“Police said he boarded and unmoored an 82-foot yacht, but he was unable to turn on the engine. He floated down the river and the yacht ultimately came to a rest along the river wall about 50 yards from the Pittsburgh River Rescue boathouse.”
The police say the Fischer was intoxicated at the time of his arrest. Most shocking thing ever.
“I took the boat I wanted to meet some Pittsburgh Pirates,” Fischer told the court after his arrest.
No, really?
Related: After 13 Years In The Minors, 33-Year-Old Pirates Rookie Gets Standing Ovation
We Have Literal Pittsburgh Pirates In 2024
Jokes can be made. A Pittsburgh Pirate fan acting the part of an actual pirate. Unfortunately, Fischer is no Jack Sparrow. He was unable to turn the yacht on, with it resting along the river wall. Perhaps, being intoxicated had something to do with it.
For some locals, this is not a laughing matter. Captain Adam Kernohan was out making checks on the yacht on Friday. His response to the theft borders more on the serious.
“Well we know it was a homeless person, we do know that,” Kernohan said. “We love this city, and to have the homeless just feel that they can go ahead and just grab anything that they want and just drift away and sail away on whatever they want is ridiculous.”
Kernohan also indicated that more than one person boarded the yacht despite Fischer being the only one that was arrested.
“Given the value of the boat, this is huge, huge. It’s a big time felony. One of the officers said it could be 20 to 25 years in jail. But I think the problem is, I mean, how do you prosecute somebody who has nothing?” Kernohan said.
Fischer has been charged with theft by unlawful taking, receiving stolen property and defiant trespass. We hope the cosplay was worth it.