As a pureblooded, native Cheesehead born and raised in Titletown, Wisconsin, I am Detroit’s biggest fan for the next two weeks. And I’ll tell you right now, Lions fan: you go ahead and light your butt on fire. You poor bastards have earned it.
Do the Buffalo Butt-Fire
During the weekend’s Divisional Round action between the Detroit Lions and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, our long-suffering friends from Detroit and points elsewhere in Michigan let their freak flags fly.
And by that, I mean at least one guy lit his butt on fire after a failed attempt at Bills Mafia-like shenanigans.
This video has absolutely everything:
Film Breakdown
Taking this thing to the film room, first, this looks like a solitary Lions fan who is tailgating at the Buffalo game, since everyone else is in their Bills gear. What’s he doing there? Hilarious.
Second, look at the very first second of the video – that is a man lighting the table on fire with a BLOWTORCH. Also hilarious. I’d bet dollars to donuts that the accelerant was something 80-proof or higher, because that’s how the Bills Mafia rolls.
Then there’s the perfectly executed People’s Table Drop, the man slowly realizing he’s still on fire, the man smashing the table before he puts himself out, and best of all, the fact that Kermit the Frog is attending this tailgate. (Listen for the “Oh no!” around 5-7 seconds on the video.)
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Classic Bills Mafia
It’s a positive sign that the Bills Mafia took time from their anticipatory celebration to teach others their unusual methods. It’s also a positive sign that Lions Fan realized he must take on new traditions if he wants the team to tap into his energy.
Can anyone prove it didn’t work, after all? The Lions are headed to the NFC Championship and it’s been so long most of the players on the team weren’t even alive when it happened.
As for the Bills themselves – they blew it again, but the Bills Mafia did their job and got in the heads of the Chiefs. Too bad the team couldn’t match their performance.
