super bowl winners orgy
Wikimedia commons: All-Pro Reels, Jar-Lar

Move over Disney World, there’s a new must-do trip for winners of the Super Bowl. At least that’s the hopes of the owner and the ladies of the night of the “world famous” Chicken Ranch brothel in beautiful Pahrump, Nevada.

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Free Sex, Final Wisdom, Total Coverage

TMZ reports that two of the prostitutes who work at the brothel are offering the winning team an orgy. Specifically, a “no-holds-barred orgiastic blowout”, which might be a tall order on account of the winners being tired.

TMZ writes, “The package, the two say, includes a free limo service, access to the bar, swimming pool, VIP Bungalows … and sex specialty areas. They added that “nothing is off limits” … explaining that anything the winners desire is 100 percent on the house.” Oh, and the wives are invited!

Disney World for the Bad Luck Crowd

Sadly, the losers of the America’s ultimate sporting contest would also have to pay for their own orgy, according to the rules. They’re stuck going to Disney World.

And how did the Disney thing start, anyway? Glad you asked. Giants QB Phil Simms was the first to drop the legendary line after they spanked the Broncos in Super Bowl XXI. “I’m going to Disney World!” is how Simms responded when asked what he was going to do after winning the biggest game and the Super Bowl MVP.

Since then, ESPN reports, “Since Simms became the first Super Bowl MVP to go to Disney in 1987, at least one player has uttered the line in all but one year (2005), when there was no commercial following Super Bowl XXXIX.”

Further, the Super Bowl MVP usually goes to a parade in either Disneyland or Disney World the day after.

So there you have it folks – winners get a free orgy, the losers will have to take the old winner’s prize of Disney World. Welcome to 2024.