You better believe it, because the nightmare is over. Dan Snyder prepares to take his bazillion dollars and walk back into the swamp he came from as the NFL finalizes the sale to officially transfer the Washington Commanders to its new ownership.
Private equity investor Josh Harris can hold his head high as he secured the purchase of the Washington Commanders for $6.05 billion, and his Harris group is more than eager to put down this rabid, feral-woke brand and build up something better in it’s place.
One big move already taking center stage is potentially changing the name of the not-Redksins once again, at least according to ESPN reporter Don Van Natta Jr.
“Yes, I think there’s a pretty good chance of that, to erase any part of the [Dan] Snyder legacy, to have a complete do-over,” said Van Natta Jr. “I would not be surprised at all if we see a name change on a complete rebranding.”
Why restructure when you can play god and try your hand at resurrection? Sacrifice the Commanders’ fleshy, ugly pig mascot monstrosity, Major Tuddy, on live TV and see the flames of the Redskins rise from the ground and soar into the air like a phoenix. Whatever you do, just don’t fall back to calling it the Washington Football Team.
Give the real fans what they want, bring back the Redskins. As seen by political commentator Nick Adams’ troll of the team months back, there was serious movement to get the capital to buy the team and change the name back.
Basketball superstar Magic Johnson, who is now one of the owners alongside with the Harris group, has added to the notion we might be at least able to say ‘seeya’ to the Commanders sooner than later.
“I think everything is on the table, especially after this year,” said Johnson. “We’ll see where we are with the name, but I can’t say that right now.”
For now, we can breathe easy with the knowledge that the bad man Dan Snyder can’t desecrate things anymore. I like how Washington Times‘ sports columnist Thom Loverro put it as he celebrated this new era.
“It’s a celebration that has taken place in stages before getting to the final act,” Loverro said in his recent column. “Like stages of grief, there are five stages of happiness — early happiness, socialized happiness, conditional happiness, transition to happiness and authentic happiness.”
Nature is healing, so let’s hope they don’t ruin this good moment. Oh, and bring back the cheerleaders. While I’m at it, build a device to travel back in time to prevent Snyder, Shanahan & Company from ruining RGIII’s career.