After months of hyping up perhaps one of the strangest potential displays of consensual combat probably in human history, the MMA match between Meta founder and alleged-lizard person Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk seems to be as dead as as Zuck’s Metaverse and Elon’s underground tunnel to Vegas.
This week, Zuckerberg got fed up with Musk’s regular excuses to postpone announcing a fight date and location, and instead decided just to nuke the one thing that seemed to unite everyone on the internet— a chance to see two of the most divisive people of our time fight each other in a cage for our morbid entertainment.
“I offered a real date. [UFC president] Dana White offered to make this a legit competition for charity,” Zuckerberg posted on Threads, which is Facebook’s flailing Twitter/X competitor.
“Elon won’t confirm a date, then says he needs surgery, and now asks to do a practice round in my backyard instead,” he continued. “If Elon ever gets serious about a real date and official event, he knows how to reach me.”
One person who was apparently excited to see these two literal real life Lex Luthor’s fight was Chatri Sityodtong, the CEO of ONE Championship.
“I normally don’t like to get involved in other people’s spats, but I am compelled to say something on the latest development of the potential fight between Mark Zuckerberg vs Elon Musk,” Sityodtong posted on Facebook. “A few hours ago, Elon said that he was planning to show up to Mark’s house to fight him. Elon is one of the greatest entrepreneurs in history and I have a lot of respect for his guts, accomplishments, and intellect. However, I dislike bullying of any kind.”
“First, Elon genuinely knows nothing about fighting or martial arts despite his claims to the contrary,” he continued. “As a lifelong expert martial artist who has been in my fair share of scraps, I can tell simply by the way he is acting. The problem with most men who have never fought and/or trained seriously in martial arts is exactly what Elon is doing. They have a false sense of bravado and no understanding or appreciation for what technical skills and knowledge can do in a fight. A legit blue belt in jiu-jitsu is very dangerous to someone who knows nothing.
“As CEO of the world’s largest martial arts organization and someone involved in the fight game as my life, I know when people want to fight or not. When people want to fight, they accept a fight and simply show up. When people don’t want to fight, they do exactly what Elon has been doing. They make up excuses, conditions, and reasons for avoiding the fight. Elon has made up puzzling excuse after excuse, be it the need for surgery, the need to do it in the Coliseum in Italy, the idea of doing it through his and Mark’s foundations, the idea of a backyard practice run, etc.”
In terms of predictions, the combat sports pro predicted that “Mark will likely choke Elon unconscious in a fight.”
To rub some dirt into things even more, Musk’s own father recently said that the whole ‘fight’ was a “banal” publicity stunt for Elon and nothing more.
Do you think this fight of the tech titans will ever happen? Let us know in the comments below and across the Musk, Zuckerberg, alien, and Illuminati controlled world of social media.