Colby Covington
Colby Covington via UFC- Ultimate Fighting Championship YouTube

It’s happened again, another man has defeated women within their own division. For generations, feminists fought against the patriarchy, to establish places for women to compete fairly, and on par with each other. Well, the patriarchy has won thanks to it’s strongest allies in the war for oppression— women.

Photo by Coen van de Broek, free to use under the Unsplash license.

The same radical left that convinced us that men can get pregnant truly see no distinction within the sexes at all, and that’s to our benefit guys. Now, men are dominating all avenues of women’s sports.

According to the Daily Mail, transgender cyclists Evelyn Williamson and Tessa Johnson faced criticism after winning gold medals at two separate women’s cycling championships. Both men celebrated their relay race victory at the Illinois state championships as you’d expect, and now women are mad.

Their team name? The ‘TS-ESTRODOLLS,’ alludes to the female hormone estrogen. The article also mentions a previous incident involving another transgender athlete in a ‘throuple’ with one of them, but we don’t need to let our minds wander on that one.

President Joe Biden, First Lady Jill Biden, and U.S. Women’s National soccer player Margaret “Midge” Purce listen as U.S. Women’s National soccer player Megan Rapinoe delivers remarks during a virtual Equal Pay Day event via Official White House/ Adam Schultz

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You know what this means? Dudes are better than women it seems, at virtually every sport, and we have women to thank for that.

Cycling? We own that. Skateboarding? Yeah, we shred women to pieces (children too). Swimming? Lia Thomas is leading the way. We’re even kicking butt when it comes to women’s powerlifting and taking away Sports Illustrated swimsuit covers from them. Give us a few seasons and women’s tennis is ours too.

Men are winning awards meant for women outside of sports too, such as Biden administration top dog Rachel Levine (also known as Richard). We really couldn’t have done this without women, who paved the way for the patriarchy’s extra-thousand year reign.

Trans swimmer Lia Thomas via Daily Signal YouTube

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We Did It Guys, We Defeated Women At Women’s Sports!

This opens up a pretty big grievance however, a theoretical androgynous, non-binary “elephant in the room” as some may say. Why are women still complaining about pay gaps and no one watching their games? Is it my fault as a man and feminist ally that strong, independent women can’t get people to watch things like the WNBA and the FIFA World Cup? Why haven’t they just thought about identifying as men?

How is it men’s fault that women didn’t show up in droves to fill the stadium when Brittney Griner was brought home from Russia? How is it men’s fault that women’s soccer is boring? Maybe they need to recruit more men in wigs if they want their games to be interesting. Just a thought.

Maybe that’s the problem guys, we’re just not listening well enough to the coded-messages in between their cries for help. Maybe they do want men to play with them so more people will watch their games. Maybe its our fault for not listening well enough.

Brittney Griner

Brittney Griner via ESPN YouTube

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Brittney Griner desperately wants men in the WNBA, so much so that she insinuated to insist on sex segregation is tantamount to a crime.

Griner remarked a while back about the issue of trans-athletes, “I mean, that ranks high on the list of things that I’ll be fighting for and speaking up against, you know, everyone has, everyone deserves the right to play, everyone deserves the right to come here, sit in these seats, and feel safe, and not feel like there’s a threat or they can’t be who they are or, um, like it’s just all eyes on them.

“So, I think it’s a crime, honestly, to separate someone for any reason,” she continued. “So, I definitely will be speaking up against those, that legislation, and those laws that are trying to be passed for sure.”

You hear her? She wants to play against LeBron James, that’s what she’s begging us for. Enes Kanter Freedom is already waiting outside of the stadium with his wig in hand, ready to secure a win for the patriarchy and women (whatever a woman is supposed to be anyway) all at the same time.

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Since she’s retiring, perhaps the patriarchy’s biggest ally in the trans-athlete movement, Megan Rapinoe, should use her soapbox and platform to push this further. She could even use her new big screen company to help get the word out. She’s gone as far as to say there is no evidence at all that men are drastically beating women at their own games. We’re not even paying her to spread our disinformation, she’s doing it for free!

“Get a grip on reality and step back” Rapinoe said during an interview last summer with TIME Magazine. “I’m 100% supportive of trans inclusion. People do not know very much about it. We’re missing almost everything. Frankly, I think that what a lot of people know is versions of the right’s talking points because they’re very loud. They’re very consistent, and they’re relentless.”

The patriarchy has to go above and beyond the lengths we’ve gone. Occupying the White House with our dude-agenda is not enough. Patriarchal ally and White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre can’t do all of our messaging by herself.

“Look, what you’re alluding to is that transgender kids are dangerous, it sounds like that’s what you’re saying” she said back in June. “That is a dangerous thing to say.”

Karine Jean-Pierre Slams Reporter Over Questions About Transgender Athletes In Women’s Sports | Forbes Breaking News

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The Best Way to Defeat Feminism is With Trans-Feminism

We’re going to have to do better if we want to defeat our pro-woman, anti-man opponents. It doesn’t matter if women’s boxing champion Ebanie Bridges says she doesn’t want to fight Mike Tyson, we gotta make it happen somehow. When Keith Olbermann says Riley Gaines isn’t a good swimmer, we need to follow up by getting more dudes into women’s locker rooms within the NCAA.

Above all, we just need to eliminate women’s sports entirely and have them play with the bros so they can finally get the ratings they’ve always wanted.

Therefore I’m providing a solution; Megan Rapinoe and Brittney Griner should box against men. Think about it, influencer boxing is big money and viewership right now. This is the ultimate win-win. The patriarchy gets to watch a guy beat a woman, and the women get to show they’re equal to the guys. Everybody gets what they want.

Megan Rapinoe

Megan Rapinoe via Optus Sports YouTube

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Boxing is the public square for airing-grievances and giving retired, has-been athletes a second shot at real money these days. They just need to face off against some dudes who have never boxed before, I’m talking Colby Covington for starters. However, he’s under contract with the UFC so that probably wouldn’t happen.

What about “Brittney Griner vs Francis Ngannou” or “Megan Rapinoe vs Jorge Masvidal”? They haven’t boxed either and have time to kill so it’ll be the fair fight everyone wants.

Oh, and so what if all the guys I listed are MMA fighters? All the boxing bros online have told me MMA fighters suck at boxing, just look at every MMA fighter who has boxed Jake Paul for starters.

Colby Covington via TIMCAST IRL YouTube, screenshot

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OK, Now the Serious Part

If we’re being serious now, let’s point out the obvious truths and cut the banter.

We need to stop appeasing these people and stand firm that men should never share locker rooms or podiums with women. And if they want to help their cause for better pay, just go back and listen to “feminist” Ronda Rousey from a few years back.

“I think that how much you get paid should have something to do with how much money you bring in. I’m the highest-paid fighter, not because Dana and Lorenzo wanted to do something nice to the ladies,” she said at a press conference back in 2015.

Rousey added, “They do it because I bring in the highest numbers. They do it because I make them the most money. And I think that the money that they make should be proportionate to the money that they bring in.”

You’re not going to make women’s sports great by bringing in guys to decimate women, and you’re not going to get people to want to support you if you constantly complain instead of finding creative ways to solve your problems.

So if you’re a professional female athlete who wants to get paid the big bucks without getting into the ring with the men, Paige Vanzant can give OnlyFans lessons and the Exposed Sportz League is hiring.

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